Mud

Here is a story I wrote as I pondered and reflected during lent...

“I can’t believe you made your clothes dirty by playing in the mud again!” shrieked his very irate mom. “Do you know how much time it takes to wash that out of your school uniform?” The boy glanced at his father, searching his eyes for support. The father grinned knowingly, and the son began a wan smile. But their shared moment of boyish glee was swatted aside: “Dad, make your son remember this lesson!” with that, the mother lumbered away to resume her endless toil. Reluctantly, the father took his boy to the bedroom and spanked him.

Years later, the boy was now grown. But he still had a penchant for getting dirty. Once, he rushed home to try and wash the grass stains out from the front of his shirt but struggled in vain. Yet, he could not wait to tell his dad about his amazing find that drew him into the mess in the first place. So he pounced his father as soon as him when he walked in the door: “Dad! Dad! You won’t believe what I found in…”

“Son! Look at you!” scowled the boy’s father as he took in the messy uniform.

“Yeah, I know dad! But let me tell you what I saw in the…”

“You always have an excuse! Don’t you know how angry mom gets each time you come home with dirty uniforms?”

“But dad…” the boy pleaded.

"There, now I've said it. I don't want to hear any more of it." Their eyes remained locked in a battle of wills as moments of tension passed ever so slowly. The father paused and reminisced the times when mischief got him into trouble as a boy and was considering relenting when suddenly his boy raised his voice in frustration: "What, DAD? You mean to tell me YOU never got into trouble for being a KID?!!"

The father snapped and lashed the boy with words, releasing years of angst in his tirade, stabbing deeply into the boy’s heart in frustration and fear that he would once again not learn this lesson.

“Whatever!” the boy snapped--fighting back tears, he stormed into his room and slammed the door shut. The father shook his head incredulously and consoled himself that he was doing the best he can.

More years passed, and now the father was old. He was taking a long walk one day when the weather turned suddenly. A rainstorm blew in and caused the path to get muddy. The old father slipped in the slop and stumbled--soiling his clothes. “Ironic!” chuckled the old man as he remembered how he used to fuss at his boy for getting his uniform dirty. His thoughts shifted to how he would have to explain his dirty clothes to his wife and share the irony with his son when he wandered off the muddy path and slipped down the slope! Pain stunned the old man as he whimpered near the bottom of the slope... and drifted off into a foggy stupor.

Hours later, the boy came down the very same path and walked gingerly through the mud. He was careful to avoid one particularly treacherous section of the path that washed out to the ravine below and shuddered as he considered what might happen to him if he slid down. He walked nimbly by… oblivious that his father was below… and emerged smugly with shoes still pristine. He felt guilty that he could not find his father, but consoled himself that he was doing the best he can.

The father survived the fall and was found eventually, but was paralyzed. The long hours of exposure caused his recovery to be extended. At first, the boy resented having to care for the father and struggled not to vent his anger by being rough and cruel. One morning, the boy watched as a nurse patiently cleaned his father after he had soiled himself. Livid, he lashed out at his father and the nurse: “Why do you waste your kindness on him? He is so useless! Look at him!”

The nurse continued wiping the father gently, but tears streamed down the father’s face. The boy wasn’t fully certain that the father could hear and comprehend what was being said around him until now because he had remained in a catatonic state since the fall.

A few days later, as the boy trudged past the nurse’s station on the way to his father’s room, the nurse handed him a plain piece of paper with two words scrawled in pencil. “It’s from your father,” she said earnestly.

The boy glanced down at the note. “I sorry,” he sneered as he read the note. The nurse grasped his hand and said gently: “Try to forgive him for whatever pain he has caused you… he is the only father you have.” The boy looked away quickly as conflicting emotions roiled in him. The nurse continued tenaciously: “I see patients die every day, and talk to their surviving family as they grieve.” The nurse ducks her head to engage the boy’s eyes. He attempts to wrestle free, but the nurse held his hands tightly and continued. “You still have time. He did the best he could—now it is your turn to decide what is most important to have in your future and work for it.” With that, the boy broke free and dashed down the hall sobbing.

Still more years pass, and now the boy has grown into a man with a son of his own. One day his son came home with a muddy uniform… immediately, he tore into his son, drowning him with years of angst.  In the middle of the tantrum, the man was astonished at his behavior and balked. His son ran into his room with tears and snot running down his face.

The man slumped to his knees and cried out to God, pleading for a better way as years of suppressed memories returned to haunt him. He felt a glow in his heart, and forgiveness unburdens him. With renewed hope, he stepped gingerly towards the bedroom and toward his son who was still sobbing into a pillow. The man sat beside his son and put an arm around him. The man apologized and held his son until he raised his messy red face. “Okay, now son--tell me what on earth led you into this messy adventure!”

~ Shien

Blessings amidst Transition

As I reflect on 2015 and our transition from Malaysia to the USA, there are many things that happened beyond our control. However, many of them were good!

Firstly, watching my children re-enter the US School system and learn to flourish where they are despite of the numerous social challenges in Middle and High School has been a humbling, frustrating, and sometimes uncomfortable season. In a very short semester, I have watched them find their way in a very power hungry group, discover friends, re-invent themselves.

Academically, I have seen them share their talents and achieve musically and scholastically.

Spiritually, I have watched both of them draw closer to God in their sadness, frustration and desperation. And seeing God respond to them intimately is heart-warming.

Physically, they are maturing as young teens and solving more and more complex issues as they learn to make better decisions. Recently, I introduced some financial literacy concepts to them which culminated in playing the Cashflow game together. I have also watched them spend more time thinking about what they really want and researching their options before spending money.

So, there are many things that I still want for my family. But there are so many more that I can only hope for that have been given so richly to us!

Some Wheels!

One of the things that surprised us during our transition this Summer was buying a car. It became an option when we realized our time in the USA was extending and we would be traveling back to Texas.

Rather than rent a car one way to Texas, and again in Texas to get around locally, we thought about buying a car and selling it if we were to leave the country. We had a modest budget of US$5,000 to spend on the car, and was hoping to get a Chevrolet HHR--a car we knew that fit us well before leaving Texas in 2011.

However, there were few examples in Iowa to look at, so I simply planned on waiting until we got into DFW to shop for one.

But days before leaving Iowa, Monica's brother who works in a car dealership told us a bout a car that just came in on a trade in. The numbers sounded right, but it scared me a bit because it was a lot more car than I was planning to buy--what were the trade offs?

A few days later, we went to his dealership for a look and I was dumb-struck. It was the proverbial cream puff! Few miles for its age, maintained by a former mechanic proactively. In almost mint condition. Because of our connection with my brother-in-law, we were given the car at thousands below market value.

As we drove away and down to Texas, it was obvious that this was a luxurious ride for the money, but it seemed a bit excessive. We did not *need* to have such a large vehicle, but about a month later, we would get to give rides to college kids arriving at Baylor as part of helping them settle in their transition!

The Cherry Red Bike that Came Around the Mountain

In addition to the fabulous hawker food, one of my hopes for living in Penang was to get to ride a motorcycle.

The narrow streets are lined with too much to see and take in as you drive by in a car, and parking on a whim is arduous since you will likely end up blocks away after searching diligently for a legal parking space.

However, the opportunistic driving habits of the residents lent for interesting albeit treacherous ride on a motorbike. Add to the fact that one of our colleagues met with a spectacular accident on his motorbike shortly before we arrived. Right then, my dream of getting a bike evaporated.

After about year, we learned to make sense of the would be madness on the streets, and we observed an unusually few number of motorbike accidents. And so, the notion of acquiring a bike for me surfaced, and to prove the good faith, I bought my helmet.

I was willing to ride a little moped like the Honda C70s tooling around at just 40km/h flat out. I knew how to make that work, but of course I would prefer a Honda Wave 125 or better yet a racy Yamaha LC135 or the ultimate--Modenas Jaguh 175cc cruiser. That's the kind of cruiser bike I fell in love with in Nicaragua years ago--a Honda CB350.

But buying a bike was not that simple, especially when you are busy. I was too slow picking up an almost mint Honda EX5 110cc from a missionary who had to leave quickly. The price was low as a result, and the bike even had a rear Givi helmet box.

Then this semester, I discovered that many of my colleagues leaving had bikes that I liked, especially one who rode a bright red Jaguh. That was the bike I wanted.

But he was not certain that he wanted to sell it, but he assured me that I was the first to have asked about it. Some weeks later, as I found out that almost everyone of the bike riding colleagues either had other plans for  their bikes, I found out that the red Jaguh had been previously promised to a local staff member from our school. Of course he deserved that bike more since he commuted from the mainland an hour away, and on a little EX5 at the time.

Disappointed, all of my leads were exhausted, but still no bike. I let it go in principle, but I was very honest with God--I still wanted a bike, and that red one too.

Then, just before spring break, that local staff person approached me to see if I still wanted the red bike he just bought! He said that oddly enough, the seat on that bike proved too hard for a long ride such as his, and he preferred to seek a cruiser like a Virago or Sym VTS200. Elated, I accepted his offer and transferred the bike to my name just as spring break 2013 began.

~ Shien Yahweh Jireh "The Lord provides"

Losing My Cool Over Vada

After a rather challenging meeting, and a morning that delayed my lunch break, I skulked over to the Indian Restaurant opposite the school for a late lunch/early tea break. I ordered an Iced Milo and 2 Vada which look like Indian Spiced bagels.

I saw them in the cabinet, and it would not have taken 30 seconds to plonk 2 on a plate. so I reminded my server about them when he delivered the Milo. Still no vada. He walks by again and I reminded him a second time. He said it was coming. Now I was writhing in my skin. Was he ignoring my request? I struggled with my emotions while a still small voice asked if getting what I wanted was worth making an a$$ of myself...

Reluctantly, I waited and sulked as I finished my iced Milo. After just 10 minutes from my initial order, my server proudly delivers my 2 vada with a cup of dhal curry. He proudly explained that he did not want to heat mine in a microwave, so he had them broiled!

Indeed, the crust was crispy and the interior still fluffy and warm--it was a most delectable treat, and I ate the snacks dumbstruck at how close I was to destroying a gift of hospitality due to my impatience. I repented quietly and thanked my proud server profusely for his gift!

~ Shien "Yahweh Maccaddeshcem" The Lord my sanctifier.

A Storm that Came Between Jezebel and I

During our flurry of activity to prepare for our departure from the US, my boss at Job Corps had become tyrannical and sent me to work in College Station--2 hours away. They paid for 4 nights of hotel stays, but I had to establish my rhythm there. No matter that a single colleague wanted to be there, I was sent knowing that I had a family I preferred to return to.

One evening, after a slow morning of prospecting, my immediate supervisor wanted my vehicle since he had plenty of prospective students to take on tour, so I volunteered to run my larger van to him for a swap. The Spring Weather was looking severe, but I was confident that I would make it to Waco.

After the swap, I took the minivan to the car wash since it badly needed cleaning. As I waited, I watched the weather close over the road back to College Station--hail and strong gusts of wind was being reported. So I sought permission from my supervisor to spend the night in Waco. After all, I only lived here!

That night, the weather got severe in Waco as well, but not before I got to visit my guy-friends at Warrior Heart to celebrate God's goodness in bringing me home for the night when my family was missing me. And kept the weather open fore me. As the meeting closed, the weather got fierce and it was time to drive home--the wind was knocking trees down and blowing roofs off buildings.

The next day, as I returned to College Station, the director was furious at my supervisor for allowing me to stay in Waco. He asked as I did: "Would she rather I drive through that severe storm and have the van totalled?!!"

~ Shien Yahweh Nissi "The Lord is my banner of victory

From Desperation to Dreams

After about a decade of trying to fit in and find any job that would take me in Waco, Texas, I was beginning to think that what they were saying about my resume was true--that I was not attractive and hire-able. Furthermore, I was six months into my most recent of 5 careers and 3 part time jobs and was starting to think that the dream was becoming more of a nightmare.

Nevertheless, a year after discovering Dalat International School, I had just been offered a contract to recruit new students, and Monica was going to teach for them. Our children would also attend the same school.

All of a sudden, the random looking resume resolved into an amazing set of experiences that proved a skills-set suited for International School admissions! I never saw this one coming and no one before had identified this area of work for me. And it was a fantastic fit.

So began the frantic process of shutting down our life in the US--saying goodbye to our friends, family and cat; renting our house; ending our jobs; packing our belongings; selling our car and a massive pile of paperwork and training for the new job.

It was clear that God took a last-resort job with the Job Corps and turned desperation into a dream, for without the Job Corps, I would never have thought that admissions was something I could do.

~ Shien Yahweh Ro'i "The Lord guides me as my shepherd

God Speaks During a Federal Interview

After a false start at leaving Waco, Texas, both Monica and I accepted whatever jobs we could get, which is to say Monica was hired to the most challenging inner city school in Waco and I got a job with very high turnover to recruit for the Job Corps. I was about to find out firsthand why.

Nevertheless, I did enjoy offering hope to youth aged 16-24 who needed a second chance at life. These kids came from halfway houses being treated for addictions, juvenile prison, alternative school, some just wanted to leave the ghetto or gang life secretly. Others came from college, up to their eyeballs in debt, unable to find a job. Most had exhausted most of their hope.

A single mother, who was barely our of her teens, sat dejectedly during her interview. She was dressed in her best, which was provocative and risque. Her eyes were hard and untrusting, and her comments terse. When I asked her why she wanted to join Job Corps, she teared up a little and said her little one deserved better than the late nights and her stressed state of being when she returned. At that point, I sensed the Holy Spirit rising up in compassion and I sensed I needed to deliver a word of knowledge and encouragement. So after checking it over with the Holy Spirit, I looked into her glistening eyes and told her: "It's not your fault, and God loves you dearly inspite of your guilt--He has already forgiven you."

Without skipping a beat, she acknowledged and continued: "I just have a hard time forgiving myself with the choices I made in the past". She knew more about what the Holy Spirit was doing than I. And that was fine with me. Somehow, the rest of the words exchanged and I did not understand them nor do I remember them, but the words mattered to her, and she left the interview grateful, relieved, and awkward--she wasn't sure to hug me or shake my hands... but she had softened because God spoke during a Federal Interview.

She never returned, and to my knowledge she did not enter the Job Corps, but I do know God is with her.

~ Shien Yahweh Ro'i "The Lord our shepherd who cares for His people like a flock"

What Do You really Want?

We had switched over to buying cars on cash for some year now, having realized how expensive the interest payments and depreciation was on a newer car purchased on loan. We had purchased a 20 year old Lexus ES300 from a friend for US$2,000 and sold for just a bit more, and was now on a Honda Civic that was 10 years old.

I had been watching the market and was particularly eager on purchasing a Toyota Sienna for about US$5,000 and watched many come and go that was barely on the edge of my budget--very tempting but risky since I would not be able to afford any immediate repairs or necessary preventative maintenance after purchase.

Finally, I noticed an obscure advertisement on the Autotrader and skipped it several times since it did not have interior pictures. Nevertheless, the attractive price and recent price drop indicated that the dealer was eager to do business. So I contacted him and asked for pictures of the van. He obliged within hours and I got the VIN number to run a Carfax to discover that the van came from Canada--the indicated mileage was actually kilometers!

This discovery sweetened the deal significantly because what was advertised as 130,000 miles was actually 130,000 kilometers as per Carfax (about 80,000 miles). Be that the value of the van drops about $500 for every 10,000 miles, I was already ahead another US$2,500, and because of the lack of posted pictures, and a very eager dealer, I was likely to bargain the already reduced price.

That afternoon, I arranged for the money from the bank and told Monica about it. She was comfortable with the numbers, but asked me if this was the van I wanted. The question perplexed me since it was the kind of van I wanted, and how often do you spot a legitimate deal as this? She pressed me again, and I admitted that I actually wanted a Sienna with leather and captain chairs in the middle. This van was cloth interior with bench 2nd row.

I had a hard time letting this go, since I was sure I was not going to see a better deal. The dealer followed up with me twice, and I declined. 2 months pass, and then a white Toyota Sienna XLE year model 2000 with leather captain chairs in the 2nd row appeared on the Autotrader at the right price and right mileage. But again, there was no interior pictures. However, I made an appointment to view it and it was certainly our van.

We enjoyed it for almost 5 years before selling it to our friends just as vehicle prices jumped due to Obama's Cash for Cars program. At that point, we traded in a 1989 Chevy G20 that was worth about US$500 on the open market for US$3,000 government rebate, and another US$2,000 dealer incentives on a very attractively priced Black Chevy HHR.

~ Shien Yahweh Jireh "The Lord Provides"

Pregnancy, Texas Heat and Broken Air-cons

One afternoon during the hot Texas Summer, I heard an awful screeching noise outside our home. I went out to investigate and realized it was coming from the air-conditioner compressor. I immediately shut down the air-conditioning to the house to save the unit, but was now concerned about my very pregnant wife. We retreated to a mall and took stock of our situation.

We called a local repairman who came recommended by one of our friends. He confirmed that indeed it was a failing bearing, and could be fixed for US$200. He was quite surprised that we noticed the issue and commended us for addressing it early since it saved the compressor from failure.

That night, we turned the air-con back on to sleep and prayed that God would provide. The next day, we attended church and during the smaller Lifegroup meeting, the leaders approached us and said that we had been on their hearts and they were praying for us. We shared our need and they graciously gifted us what we needed for the repair!

~ Shien Yahweh Jireh "The Lord provides"

Sick of Home Cooking and Leftovers

In the effort to conserve money and stay within our budget, we had been cooking most of our meals and eating leftovers for the rest. And I was frankly getting tired of home cooking. So I took my complaint to God and told him that while I was grateful for the food in our home, it would be totally awesome to get a change.

That next week, a flurry of friends called and wanted to have lunch with me... I told them I had little to spend and every one of them told me that they were happy to give me a treat. Each time I ate out, there were leftovers to bring home to share with Monica. There was even an acquaintance who wanted to present a "business opportunity" to me. I was not interested, but lunch was great!

I was eating out so often, that I was getting tired of eating out! Then, God smiled and reminded me of my request! How quickly things had changed for me, and how quickly I forgot about eating home cooking and tired of eating out! And how quickly I forgot God had answered my prayer.

~ Shien Yahweh Jireh "The Lord my provider"

Grace from a United State Immigration Officer

"If you tell me that you are here to marry, I have to send you home..." the immigration officer said this the third time, still patient, still smiling... knowingly. Then, joy slowly rose in me when I understood what this man was finally trying to communicate to me!

A week earlier, I had endured the humiliating and terrifying interrogation by his peers at the Minneapolis port of entry. Then, I had naively told the immigration officer I was here to marry my fiance. It never occurred to me that I had done something wrong. My fiance Monica waited and watched me from outside the holding area, concerned and puzzled.

We were returning to the US to be married, thinking that one could spontaneously marry according to the law. However, we did not realize that one had to be within the US already and then consider the idea. But it was too late, and I did not lie well, so I blurted out the truth foolishly.

The prying questions stripped me and I felt vulnerable. By now, Monica could see that something was very wrong. Eventually, after Monica was brought in for questioning, they realized that we were sincere and had mis-interpreted the law. Apparently, we weren't the first, and the officers had grace for us and would have been willing to let us proceed. But since we were travelling on to Texas, they did not have jurisdiction there, and told us that they would have to decide our fate, but they would call ahead and put in a good word for us in our case notes.

With out wedding just days away, and my brief window of opportunity to exonerate  decimated by limited days in the week to appeal our case, the fourth of July holiday, we reached out to every avenue of help we could muster, including our pastor who asked our congress woman Kay Bailey Hutchison to intervene.

Weary, we made our way to San Antonio with Monica's mom who was here for the wedding. She stayed in the hotel room to pray while we attended our appointment. When it came time to hear our case, the immigration officer was particularly stern, and there was a bold notice tacked on his notice board stating there was to be no more leniency and grace in 'spontaneous marriages'. The law had been changed! Now ALL marriages had to be initiated with a fiance or marriage visa. Now I was really panicked and reluctantly told Monica about the news.

I was so distressed that I was a bit shell shocked as I related our story to the immigration officer, still stern. Suddenly, he stepped out of his seat, went behind for a few minutes and returned with a statement: "If you tell me that you are here to marry, I have to send you home..."

I could not believe it. I only saw myself having to fly home--they had already confiscated my passport and return ticket. But after the third time he repeated himself, I found the courage to look into his kind eyes, and my heart skipped a beat... "You mean..." he continued smiling "...if I don't get married, I can stay in country?!! No legal papers but I can have a party with my relatives, right!" Now he was ecstatic and I was incredulous! Monica, who is normally quicker than I am with such matters, was so stunned by the sudden turn in events that she too did not understand when I called her over to confirm the news with the officer!

Floored by God's Grace on us, we called Monica's mom at the hotel on the ride home, I could here her laughing and shouting for joy through the phone as Monica told her the news, tearing up in gratefulness.

That was Thursday. Couple of days later, we had our grand party on Saturday Afternoon, and celebrated God's goodness. We were not legally married until we had our fabulous honeymoon in Alaska and returned a couple of months later. There is grace in the United States Federal Government because gracious people also work there.

~ Shien, Yahweh Shalom "The Lord our Peace"

Child of the Most High God

Raj and I had been pretty good friends for some time. Having trained together on the master skipper boating course and gone on long boat trips, he trusted me so much, and I in him, that he allowed me to drag him into situations that I know he would avoid otherwise.

On this occasion, he somehow agreed to go to Mt Faber with Nic, the other master skipper of our trio,  during the notorious hungry ghost month. Nic was curious to know if demons were real or just a bunch of hype. having heard that Raj and I could sense nd sometimes see them, she was curious and came along.

After spending several late night hours hanging around the deserted hilltop tourist attraction, we finally descended. Nic had not seen a thing, and Raj and I were getting discouraged since we did not want to add to her skepticism, We were certain we could see demonic entities cruising about.

As we descended the escalator to the parking lot, Raj went ahead of me while I paused and stared in the direction where I thought I saw a few demons cruising by. Raj noticed them too and began to ask if I saw what he saw when he suddenly doubled over in excruciating pain. As I asked if he was alright, he yelped for help and I saw what appeared to be a mean looking demon digging 3 claws into his shoulder.

I asked if Raj was alright, and he was clearly in pain and frightened. I sensed the Holy Spirit in me rise up and in uncanny boldness, I declared Raj a child of the living, true God and that he was already spoken for. I commanded the demon to leave in the name of Jesus and it did, reluctantly.

Shaken, Raj slumped over and panted heavily. Nic was stunned, and I was relieved but weary. We drove silently to a coffeeshop that was still open now that it was past midnight. We sat and ordered hot drinks, but said little. It was clear that Raj was grateful that I was there and survived the episode, and Nic seemed to be very disturbed by the entire incident.

Nevertheless, from that day on, Raj and I shared a special bond, and I could speak to him about spiritual matters without using 'Christianese'. Nic would never mention the incident again, refusing to talk about it.

~ Shien, Yahweh Sabaoth "The Lord of Angelic Hosts"

Green Fog and the Hungry Ghosts

I met my best mate Raj through our common interest in boating. Over the years, as we trained and spent time together through numerous outings, I learned to trust his caution.

However, I somehow managed to bully Raj into some really hare-brained activities. One of which was to persuade him to crew with me for a boat trip to celebrate a friend's birthday party during the hungry ghost month.

I grew up oblivious to superstitions, and thought nothing of going out to sea when a supposed horde of ghosts or demons were roaming, but Raj was particularly nervous. There was little to be concerned about as we motored our way to our favorite anchorage. Yes, the sky was overcast, but there were gentle breezes and calm sea.

As sun-down approached both Raj and I became jittery, so we distracted ourselves by being part of the noisy party of giggling girls. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew through, followed by an eerie calm. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up even as Raj and I exchanged nervous glances. Even the flighty girls were spooked and were now talking in subdued tones.

Then, as the light waned, the sky took on an odd metallic green hue as a thick, fog-like mist rolled in with the same strange green color. "Shien, I think it is time to..." before Raj could say 'go', I had started the boat engine and he was on the anchor winch. But the anchor would not raise. We never had trouble at this site before.

The fog thickened and visibility dropped to just slightly beyond the boat. We were getting tense as I tried every trick in my playbook to raise the stuck anchor. Then I started praying and declaring God's authority over us, and invited His presence in our midst. In a few more seconds, the anchor freed, we motored out of the haze and returned to the marina. None of us spoke until we had tied off at the dock.

I told my Hindu friend that I had prayed. "I know", I could tell.

~ Shien, Yahweh-raah "The Lord my shepherd".

Why Should I Have to Listen to Him?!!

Some time had passed after arriving at College, and I was feeling very at home and accepted at the College Department and Church, so I got complacent and rather big in the head.

One day, the University brought in a speaker that they really hyped up. They made such a big deal promoting him that they made it almost mandatory to go listen to his messages. As we packed the indoor stadium of the University, I thought I had open mind... until I saw him.

When he stepped onto the stage, he had a plodding gate, wore an odd looking shirt with crazy southwestern colors, spoke hesitantly in a manner that I found difficult to assimilate. I was distracted by his hair, and overall I had a bad attitude about this guy. Soon, I found myself asking: "God, why should I have to listen to him anyway?!!"

Now that I was perfectly set up, God took me out with an understated reply: "You might want to take a look at the Angel I sent to Guard Him..."

With that, my eyes were opened to see 2 massive feet planted on either side of the stage. As I gawked, I saw the waist of the angel just below the dome ceiling of the indoor stadium, and the rest of it outside. Dumbstruck, I asked Him to forgive me for my pride and being judgmental. Later, I found out the speaker was none other than Max Lucado--duh.

I have since learned to ask Him how HE sees things lest I get a bad attitude and make an ass of myself from assuming.

~ Shien, Yahweh Sabaoth--"The Lord of hosts (angels)"

Midnight Prayerwalk

It was past midnight and I woke up thinking I needed to use the restroom. Yet I did not. Perplexed, I sat at the edge of the bed and asked God why I was wide awake and expectant.

He told me to put on my shoes and dress warmly (it was Winter). I started to ask questions, but thought better of it. So I dressed. Next, he directed me down the stairs, and out into the crisp, cold air of the University Campus. Thoughts raced through my head, mainly what I might say to the Campus Cop when he questioned me about my criminal wanderings!

Soon, I approached a familiar school building, and He directed me to pray for the teachers and students who use it daily. Specific insights came and went just as quickly as I walked past it.

I approached another building, and the insights poured in. This time, more vividly with images. This was getting interesting.

Then, I came to a complex of 4 buildings and saw what looked like a large, frightful creature draping itself over the complex and hissing: "It's mine--you can't have it!". I stopped walking and faced off with the creature--throwing at it whatever His Spirit willed and said. Eventually, the dark creature un-pinned its long talons from the buildings and flapped its sooty wings. As it loped off, a strange scent of burning leaves mixed with scorched engine oil wafted by.

Eventually, I walked back to my apartment, now cold and weary. It was at least 2am, and I had a test at 8:00am. But I realized that I was led to walk the campus once and had succeeded in praying over every building used by teachers and students! But there was the matter of the test, so I asked God for help, to wake me up refreshed in return for that neat midnight stroll with Him.

The phone rang while it was still dark, and I groaned as I reached over to answer it. There was no one there! "What now?!!" I began to grumble when God said: "Gotcha!" Then the alarm clock rang, and I realized I was waken minutes before the set time, fully alive!

~ Shien, El Roi--"The Lord who sees me"

Clouds Part in Juarez, Mexico

Our college department at church took an annual short term missions trip across the border in Juarez, Mexico. It was a really long drive from Waco, TX and at the time made the journey in an assortment of vehicles that were borrowed.

Once we got there, we worked with local churches to do outreach and follow up counseling. On our night to go to the barrios at the city dump, we settled into a frenetic Pentecostal Style Praise session, over-driven by speakers and amplifiers that were turned up beyond their capacity. It was so loud it was hard to think, but the speakers were turned out towards the ramshackle community, and they streamed into the courtyard in droves.

During the praise, I got an image of something flowing down like heavy syrup from above, trickling onto the walls and onto the floor, pooling and coalescing. It was almost 'trippy' if not for the context and I was a bit concerned about telling anyone what I was seeing lest they questioned my sobriety and well-being at that moment, but the images became more vivid and the flow increased. Soon, I was seeing what looked like translucent vapors and cold flames waving languidly off some people, especially the leaders of our group and the local church.

Finally, out of curiosity and genuine concern for my health, I told my leader about what I was experiencing. Without missing a beat, he said that I was receiving a vision and should consider sharing it. As I grappled with my nerves, I did not realize that a nasty thunderstorm was brewing outside that had the potential of dispersing the eager crowd outside.

As I took turns on the microphone with the translator sharing what I was seeing inside, outside the dark burdened storm clouds split a short distance away from us then blew past on either side shedding some rain and sizzling lightning for theatrical drama, and leaving a distinct spot of clear sky overhead. I was oblivious to the scene outside until a few minutes later, when one of our team members came in excitedly with the news!

Not only did many choose to follow Christ's that night, many were healed, and filled with Christ's Holy Spirit. We left in wonder that God parted the clouds over Juarez that evening and illuminated those who chose to follow Him.

~ Shien, Elohim--"The Creator"

Man, She's Hot!

That's what I thought about my wife when I first saw her. Granted I was hormone-charged at just 17 years old, and I was new in a big school, but I could not shake my first impression of her.

I was invited to a double birthday party, and there were a lot of people already there in their apartment. I hardly recognized anybody there being new, but they were making a big deal at how hot one of the birthday girls were even when she was much younger--even model like! Then, they passed a couple of pictures of her around in jest, and I saw their point! Yowza--this girl had a "thousand faces" as a model would.

Her personality was certainly bold and loud. And tomboy-ish. I was intimidated. She was after-all, an upperclassman. Nevertheless, she was not "weirded-out" by all the Asian Food things I liked to eat. A rare thing in a small Texas Town--awesome!

The best part was that she had a reputation for being a Godly-woman. My small circle spoke reverently of her devotion to Christ, and how she was faithful to Christ and a dependable leader. Wow. So, clearly she was out of my league, but she became the gold-standard for a woman to have.

It took me 8 years of knowing Monica, and watching her would-be suitors during that time crash and burn trying to court her, to find the nerve to ask her out for myself. It might have happened earlier if not for the fact that each time I spent time with her, her penchant for wrestling and tickling freaked me out!

Finally, I got to date my best friend, and marry her. We realized at some point that it was quite amazing of God to send me to Baylor at 16, and meet Monica during her senior year at Baylor. Monica had an offer for a paid-College education closer to her relatives, but opted instead to pay her way through her Baylor experience.

And that's why we think I was sent to Baylor at 16--to see about a Godly woman.

~ Shien, Ezer-Kenegdo "the servant function of provider of life, growth and development" 1 Cor 11:3

Come with Your Tank Full

When I was in College, I attended a Prayer and Praise Group on Friday Nights. There was a lot of earnest God-Seeking there, and much compassion to share. There was a lot of freedom to explore and emulate what Christ did and become his priesthood.

However, after a few months, it was clear that the group as a whole was not making much head way with some of these issues, as we seemed to revisit them week after week. So our leader taught us something I find valuable to this day: "As you follow Christ and are transformed by His Holy Spirit, exercise the disciplines of holiness so that you arrive on Friday Night with your spiritual tank full or fuller, ready to serve. then see what happens!"

I took the teaching to heart, and began asking God to make me more useful. At first, I just arrived at the meetings feeling less needy. Next, I began to pray for some people by name who came to the meeting. Then, I began to ask God if there was something I could do for him before, during and after the meeting.

Then one evening, as I left the restroom and strolled happily back towards the rocking praise booming out of the meeting room, God asked me if I was ready to be utilized by Him. "Uh... okay!", I replied naively. Nothing noteworthy occurred for a while, so I settled back down until the worship leader called for a spontaneous prayer time, and in particular, healing for chronic or long standing issues. Now my heart skipped a beat even as my spirit raced. His Spirit already began the infilling.

One of the leaders had come forward, he suffered from chronic back pain following a wrestling injury during his college days. As others gathered round to continue praying faithfully for him, I was given words to say to him, words that I didn't want to offer as it went something along the lines of: "Tonight, the Lord will demonstrate His Faithfulness and bring you a measure of healing." Yikes!

I waffled on obeying for a bit, but then took the plunge. I approached him and whispered in his ear. And he said he embraced the word, and was experiencing faith to believe. So he told the other leaders what was said to him, and they invited me to pray. I was not expecting that part. So I stammered out a really polished: "Uh, okay Lord--Your turn now, do as You said..." Nothing happened... for a while. The other leaders were very respectful and did not look at me, it was likely obvious that I was feeling intimidated.

Then Brett got on all fours and began to twist. He reported that he felt some relief that wasn't there before. As he continued to move, he reported a range of motion. "Yes, yes... I haven't been able to this for a while now." After a few tantalizing minutes, it became clear that he "...experienced a measure of healing." that was unprecedented. Glory to God!

I was so surprised that I did not know how to feel and behave, so I hid myself back in the crowd.

~ Shien, Yahweh-rapha--"The Lord who heals"

University at 16

"Do I get to experience a miraculous life firsthand, or do I have to settle with hearing about You secondhand?"

I was 15 at the time when I posed that question to God. At the time, I was depressed and concerned about the upcoming 'O' Levels Examinations. I was failing my Mandarin courses having been out of country for two and a half years, and even with tutoring, could not resume well. Furthermore, the Mandarin Teacher at school had humiliated me having assumed that I was being lazy or intentionally mocking her since I was getting A's in every other subject. So I was searching and wanting to know if there was more to following God than my rule-driven life.

At some point during that year, it dawned on me that I was particular close to God when I was desperate, so I 'gave permission' to God to 'yank the rug from under me' so that I can experience an intimate, miraculous life as I depended on Him. Soon, I got an answer, and He sent me to University at 16.

Instead of taking my Mandarin 'O' Level, my dad gave me permission to study for the SATs along with my other subjects, and with God's Grace, I ended with 6 distinctions, and enrolment at Baylor University.

God kept His part of the bargain--I joined a vibrant College Group the same week I arrived, and began my journey that soon became my spiritual awakening. Indeed, when you are desperate, and dependent on God, you begin to experience daily miracles and see evidence of His frequent direction and intervention in your life.

~ Shien, Yahweh-mekoddishkem--"The Lord who sanctifies you"